As kids, we played tennis for one reason: it felt good. It felt good to move our bodies, to sweat as we chased and hit ball after ball. We did our best and our best was good enough. Unfortunately, as we grow up, life drops two bombs into our minds that poison our thinking. The first is our obsession with comparing ourselves to others in order to determine our place in the world. Be it in the classroom, the office or on the tennis court, we compare.

Once we begin to compare ourselves to others, it no longer is enough to do our "best." If our best isn't as good as the next guys "best" we feel inadequate. We think about how good we "should" be rather than how good we are or how much progress we've already made. When we constantly compare ourselves to others we don't allow ourselves to move at our own pace. We feel pressure to improve quickly, to "keep up." This pressure, in many cases, robs us of our enjoyment of the game.

Second, life tells us that we need to grow up and cast aside the games of our youth, our "play." We're supposed to fill our time with more important, grown-up activities. We must constantly strive for more. We must multi-task and if we're not totally exhausted and stressed out at the end of the day (like everyone else because we must compare) we're doing something wrong.

I had an enjoyable time at Futsal yesterday, regardless of the fact I think I'm pretty useless with anything to do with a ball/board at my feet! (seen at failed attempts at skiing, snowboarding and rollarblading). Any miraculous passes or goals would probably be attributed to flukes on my part, or carelessness on the other. But anyhow, its not about winning, it's about enjoying the game right?

I paid for that two hours with sore toes, coz I keep jamming them into my shoes when trying to change directions, bruises on my knees from blocking balls hurtling at me at painful speeds, an almost rolled ankle trying to keep up with a ball juggling guy. Doesn't sound much like a recipe for fun does it? But it was amazing. I forget the thrill and fun that comes with playing team sports. Then again, I also forget the stress and being screamed at when you're playing a sport to win ala Mr Wyre and Basketball.

Speaking of sports, Wimbledon was epic! 16-14? woah, that set could have gone on for the next 3 hours if Roddick hadn't finally bungled a few shots. But man, this just shows the psychology behind sports, especially one like tennis where you're realying on yourself and reading your opponents reactions. It really is such a mental game and one that holds so many memories for me. I really need to start playing it again. It's easy to lose your passion for a game especially if you hit the same shots and make the same mistakes, which is why it's almost inhuman that Federer has scaled to the top and the only person he has to beat now is himself. That is what distinguishes a champion from any other player.

Reading the article made me think about stuff beyond tennis though. It's so true that as we get older we kinda slip into the mould of adulthood, but who ever said that growing up was easy? The adults I used to look up to when I was younger, kinda helped being the youngest of the bunch in every way. They always seemed to know where they were going and what they wanted to do. But now that I'm at the beginnings of that stage, I find that it was probably all a sham. Yes true, some people know what they want to do in life and where they want to go, and how they want to get there. But in all honesty, maybe sometimes it's more exciting to drift rather than to have a chartered course for you.

I think one of the downsides to running around the world is the fact that old friendships get jeopardized. There comes a time where people start to use the excuse of "too busy", "too tired", "no time" in order to justify why they're not coming to whatever event is being planned.

But underneath that I truly think it's a matter of having no motivation to see the person. Serious. If you really really REALLY wanted to see someone you'd make time for them. No matter what, because they're that important to you.

But sometimes people you saw for the vast majority of the day/week/year for x amount of years in a row become the people that you see the other minority amount of the day/week/year. Time kinda sorts through the friendships you had and throws out the ones that weren't really based on the same grounds. Yet, it is unfair to say that these friendships probably didn't mean anything because they did. Once upon a time. But people change. You change.

And sometimes you put all your effort into seeing someone and then realize at the meeting point that you really don't have anything in common anymore. So then what? Memories are strange things because you contract and extend things, you filter out the bad, amplify the good and all you're left with is a strange magnification of the past that shapes your present and dictates your future. Everything goes through the warp-age.

But I really should get some sleep, so I'll continue this tomorrow.

nicnocs! <3 u  =)